Dress Distress
Ok. I should start off by saying that I am not a very frou frou girl. I am not really into dresses or lace or bows or pearls or any of that stuff. I just prefer the comfort and freedom of pants. So finding a dress that I actually like is very difficult for me. Thanks to my maid of honor I did find a dress that I love at a shop in Old Town. We started at 11 a.m. that morning looking for dresses and I had one picked out by 4 o'clock. I couldn't believe it. We only went to three stores. We found it as we were strolling through the store in Old Town and as were about to leave when she just casually tossed out: Hey, how about that one? Well, it was indeed THE ONE. I got my dress in one day thank goodness. I somehow ridiculously thought that the bridesmaids dresses would be just as easy. It actually WAS and then then suddenly it just .... wasn't. Here is the story.
I have 4 bridesmaids. 3 pale blonds and one African-American. I needed to find a color that worked on all of them so since I am having a Halloween wedding I went with black. Everyone looks good in black. Done. 3 of them are of average height but one has legs that go on for days. She is like an inch shy of six feet. So I had to find a dress that would look good on her and the average height bridesmaids. They are all busy and all of them stay attached to their boyfriends like glue on the weekends so prying them loose takes a lot of work. I also did not want to make them spend a lot of money since the tall one-- I will call her Amazonia--is getting married herself 3 weeks before me. So I decided I would pick a dress online at J.Crew since another friend of mine is getting married in August and she bought her wedding dress on there. It is perfect for her so I thought I would give the site a shot. I clicked on the Weddings section and actually found a dress that I love!! It's black, it's a good price, they can order it without having to leave their boyfriend's sides and if there is an issue they could send it back easily. Done. Bridesmaids dresses can be crossed off the list. Yay!
Wrong.
Amazonia tried to warn me. She reminded me that the maid of honor was.. how shall we say- significantly endowed in the upper torso region and no way could she wear a dress like this and if she could- would I really want her chest half exposed in all my pictures for all time? I thought about it and then in my zeal for just having the dresses done ruled out Amazonia's rational response. I said I was sure she could squeeze them in there and it would be fine. Amazonia, I know you will read this blog entry so I will say it again-- you were right darn you!! Then a second bridesmaid came forward and she too is endowed and told me things were not necessarily working in that area and that maybe this dress is not the best choice for she and the maid of honor. She brought her newly purchased dress over to my house one Saturday to show me why.
And she was right. This is supposed to be a wedding- not Saturday night at the club. It was bad- they are definitely out there. If she could not do it no way could the maid of honor do it. But I am in love with the dress now. Love love love it. I have tried to find other dresses I like. I really have. I just can't seem to find anything else that I think will work so well.
So two days ago while sipping wine on a rooftop deck, Amazonia suggested again that we find a tailor and sew in fabric so that we can keep the dress but have fabric cover the more exposed areas of the dress. Maid of honor suggested black lace. I am willing to try it. It COULD work. if you get the right fabric and the right tailor and position it all just right. To keep that dress I am willing to do almost anything. I am a Cancer (zodiac sign) in fact today is my birthday so I am a quintessential mid-month Cancer. Sorta old-school, sorta bold. And the old school in me wants matching dresses for bridesmaids. Matching shoes, dresses and jewelry. So I just cannot come to grips with everyone wearing different dresses and shoes etc...
So....should I keep searching for a different dress or should I try the lace idea? Any thoughts? If you think the lace would just kill the lines of the dress please leave a comment. I am really torn....
posted by MissNationalHarbor at 3:28 PM
6 Comments:
i think this is why the varied dress option is becoming so popular - you only get 2 options...
1) either everyone wears the same exact dress and some people aren't exactly flattered by it
or 2) get dresses that flatter each girl but don't match exactly.
it's all personal preference, and even though i'm on the side of flattering rather than matching, i can tell you as a guest to many a wedding... no one else would ever notice! they would notice if all the girls were standing together but 5 minutes later they wouldn't be able to tell you what color the dresses even are. we brides care a whole lot more about our weddings than anyone else does, and we're engrossed in the details that most people won't even notice so really... it's about what makes YOU comfortable. if you can't get past the idea of non-matching dresses, stick with what you have. if the girls on display bothers you more, get them somemore flattering options, or tailor some coverage into it.
good luck! can't wait to see what you decide
what if you give them a theme to go with (black, v-neck, organza/chiffon) or find a seamstress and let them each pick a dress to be made out of the same fabric so that they mach but they don't. just throwing out ieas
I can speak to your conflict because I picked the exact same bridesmaid dress (the Sophia short, right?) and I, too, have well-endowed maids. What we ended up settling on was that they could either buy that & get it tailored to fit well or they could choose between a couple other J.Crew wedding line dresses that were the same color, fabric, and length. This might be helpful for you?
If none of those options work, I just got what I like to think of as the perfect black dress (knee length, big button backed halter-esque front) Its from the "higher end" line at target, and comes in plus (which as someone who is big busted gave more than enough room) and regular sizes. It offers coverage with out being dowdy. Hope this helps!
Well, clearly I have to leave a comment given the shout out! :) I tried to change my name to Amazonia but then my comment wouldn't post. I totally forgot I'd warned you, NH. Its all true, ladies, deep Vs and our lucky friend don't mix.
But the dress is perfect on me; even covers the knees ... not easily done!
Glad to see Stacey's suggestion as that was another idea we discussed - if it could be tailored to essentially lift the top up (I assume by making the straps shorter).
PS I eliminated this problem entirely - no bridesmaids! I've never regretted it!
I agree that you will almost definitely not find a dress that works perfectly for all of your maids And your own taste. But if you're intent on having matching maids, I think adding a little something for more coverage on the endowed ladies isn't going to kill the dress. Maybe go to JoAnn Fabric with the dress and look at some of their laces or other black fabrics and see if anything pops out at you. Or just go to a seamstress with it and ask for their advice!
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