Wednesday, August 19, 2009

You Got to Burn It, To Earn It!

I went to the gym today and I am afraid I am going to feel a bit like Claire Huxtable in this Cosby Show episode later on...

My body is feeling things it has not felt in a while. See, I went to a fertility doctor yesterday and he told me I am fat (just not in those words) and that if I want to have a better chance of conceiving when I am ready to, I should lose some weight. So, I have decided to change my life (well at least the part of my life that eats Chipotle everyday and is addicted to Lindt truffles).

I have a very real fear that after Mr. Glen Echo and I get married and we are ready to have kids, it will be difficult. I have condition called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Its the leading cause of infertility among women and is generally associated with insulin resistance and diabetes. I have been diagnosed with this condition for a long time, however, "leading cause of infertility" did not truly hit home until now.

For most people, getting married is the first step in making a family. I know there are plenty of ways to have children these days; adoption and surrogacy come to mind. But, as much as I tell myself these options are out there if I need them, I cannot ignore the longing I have to carry my own children.

I have been overweight for most of my adult life, but in 2006 I decided I wanted to give myself a "make over." I decided to treat the side effects of my condition a bit more aggressively. During this time in my life, I went from almost 240 pounds to 180! I saw a lot of my symptoms go away, I gained a ridiculous amount of confidence and overall I just felt better.

But, you know what they say about happy relationships and gaining weight...and now I am back to around 200. I cannot blame it all on meeting Mr. Glen Echo. It is a combination of work, school, stress, happiness, sadness, fun times and the fact that I just hate moving my body in ways that require me to feel physical pain afterward. Right now, however, I think its time for for not just a make up, but permanent re-mastering (think the difference between having someone do your make up to tattooing shades of eye shadow on your lids...something that does not go away).

Plenty of women want to lose weight to fit into their wedding gown or use getting married as a kick start to a fitness and diet program because they want to look good on their special day. I think about that part as the cherry on top of my healthy sundae; an added treat. The wedding is one day...my marriage will last forever. I feel like I need to prepare my body for the labor the rest of our lives together will bring. I am just not looking forward to leg cramps in the middle of the night...



Blogger Miss Fairfax said...

my boss has that same condition and she figured she'd never have her own children - but she ended up having 2! So there is definitely hope for you. She said going on Atkins improved her fertility.

good for you for being so determined to change your lifestyle! I don't have that condition but sometimes I still worry that I could be infertile and it's terrifying. Totally get that whole wanting to carry your own children thing. Yes, it might be selfish because of all the orphaned children out there who need loving homes. But I can't stop fantasizing over babies that look like me and mr. fairfax combined into one..

Thursday, August 20, 2009 11:11:00 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Yeah, its hard not to feel selfish, but, like I said, I cannot ignore my feelings.

I know plenty of people who have had kids with the condition, so I know all hope is not lost. I just need to get myself ready!

Thursday, August 20, 2009 11:28:00 AM  
Blogger Plus Size Bride said...

It's tough. I have issues with my thyroid which contributed to losing my first pregnancy about a year ago. I'm trying to get that under control, lose weight to help me get pregnant and trying to get pregnant. After all those years of trying not to I just assumed it would be easy when I wanted to.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009 8:11:00 AM  

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