Your Vows

This was hilarious. I hold out hope that there are still good natured priests and ministers out there that will couples to exchange vow like this:
[Offic.]
"Groom"...
Will you answer me right now
These questions, as your wedding vow?

[Groom]
Yes, I will answer right now
Your questions as my wedding vow.

[Offic.]
Will you take her as your wife?
Will you love her all your life?

[Groom]
Yes, I take her as my wife,
Yes, I'll love her all my life.

[Offic.]
Will you have, and also hold
Just as you have at this time told?

[Groom]
Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.

[Offic.]
Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you're happy or sad?

[Groom]
Yes, I'll love through good and bad,
Whether we're happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife!

[Offic.]
Will you love her if you're rich?
Or if you're poor, and in a ditch?

[Groom]
Yes, I'll love her if we're rich,
And I will love her in a ditch,
I'll love her through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love all my life
This woman, as my lawful wife!

[Offic.]
Will you love her when you're fit,
And also when you're feeling sick?

[Groom]
Yes, I'll love her when we're fit,
And when we're hurt, and when we're sick,
And I will love her when we're rich
And I will love her in a ditch
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love for my whole life
This lovely woman as my wife!

[Offic.]
Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death you part?

[Groom]
Yes, I'll love with all my heart
From now until death do us part,
And I will love her when we're rich,
And when we're broke and in a ditch,
And when we're fit, and when we're sick,
(Oh, CAN'T we get this finished quick?)
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
And if I might now be so bold,
I'll love her my entire life,
Yes, I WILL take her as my wife!

[Offic.]
"Bride"...
Will you answer me right now
These questions, as your wedding vow?

[Bride]
Yes, I will answer right now
Your questions as my wedding vow.

[Offic]
Will you take him as your man?
Will you love him best you can?

[Bride]
Yes, I take him as my man.
Yes, l will love him best I can.

[Offic.]
Will you have, and also hold
Just as you have at this time told?

[Bride]
Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I take him as my man.
Yes, l will love him best I can.

[Offic.]
Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you're happy or sad?

[Bride]
Yes, I'll love through good and bad,
Whether we're happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I take him as my man.
Yes, l will love him best I can.

[Offic.]
Will you love him if you're rich?
Or if you're poor, and in a ditch?

[Bride]
Yes, I'll love him if we're rich,
And I will love him in a ditch,
I'll love him through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love as best I can,
my husband, my friend, this handsome man!

[Offic.]
Will you love him in the smog,
will you love him on your blog?

[Bride]
In clear weather and in the smog,
when we’re online and on our blogs,
I will love him through thick and thin,
no matter what state we’re in,
Through good and bad,
when glad or sad,
I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love this man of mine,
For now and forever till the end of time!

[Offic.]
Then if you’ll take him as your man,
and if you’ll love him best you can,
And if you'll take her as your wife,
And if you'll love her all your life,
And if you both will have and hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you'll love through good and bad,
And whether you're happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you're poor, and when in wealth,
And if you'll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you'll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words: I do.

[Couple]
I DO!