Monday, May 24, 2010

rsvp frustration

battle #1:

mr uva and i invited 167 people to the wedding with the hope that we would have 150 guests or fewer. with our big families, this meant that a lot of "and guests" were not included - only for those people who were engaged or living together. since invitations have gone out, i have noticed that mr. uva and i have some bold friends and family members - "can i bring my boyfriend?", "my girlfriend and i will see you in july"...seriously!? it's a little bit shocking that people would openly ask. the alternative, however, is that they might just show up at the wedding and we'll have to make room for these "and guests".

battle #2:

mr. uva and i have been engaged for over 2 years now. and the wedding date has not been a surprise. we've had july 3rd scheduled for a long while, which is why it was quite a surprise when several family members let us know that they weren't going to be coming. if 2 years isn't enough notice, i must have some seriously "in-demand" family members. i'm trying not to take it personally, but it makes me sad to know that these family members feel like they a)have more important things to be doing or b)don't feel like sharing in our big day and spending time with family is important enough for a trip to c'ville.

of course the festivities will be wonderfully fun no matter who shows up...just a little pre-wedding stress, right?

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Blogger Molly said...

Ugh! We have the same thing!

We had someone who asked my future mother in law if their children were invited. So she texted us asking if they were. Were their names on the invitation? No? Then no, they aren't invited. It makes me feel all bridezilla to say they aren't - but dang, weddings are expensive and seven year-olds won't have much fun!

Long story short, I totally feel your pain! It'll all work out in the end, and if it doesn't work out perfectly - that's what moms, bridesmaids and day-of-coordinators are for!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010 8:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We're in the process of creating the guestlist.. and we are doing the same thing-- only doing plus-ones for the engaged or living together couples. I already KNOW that we will have some bold friends who will ask and/or bring their flings of the moment.. but I guess we'll just deal with it as it comes.

The most important thing is that you guys have a great time.. and not stress all the small stuff. At least, that's what I keep telling myself! =) Good luck!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010 12:11:00 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I definitely think a 2-year lead time is enough time for guests to plan ahead!

I feel your frustration about the "and guest" problem, but at least some are asking you! So many people just went ahead and brought their boyfriend/girlfriend/person they met 2 weeks ago to my wedding, we had to bring in two extra tables at the last minute and didn't have enough cake to serve to the guests. After my experience, I say be very clear, maybe post this to your wedding website if you have one:

"It is our wish and hope that Mr. UVA and I celebrate our marriage with only our closest friends and family, so we ask that you only bring those guests who were listed on the invitation to attend. Thank you in advance for your understanding."

Is that rude?

Thursday, June 03, 2010 10:56:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh man! That's so frustrating! We haven't sent out our invites yet or anything, but I am hearing all sorts of no-rsvp horror stories lately...it has me worried...

Sunday, June 06, 2010 10:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First off...Go Terps :)

Secondly, me and Ms. Yes are doing the list now in hopes of getting 120 total. I am gearing up for my GF..oops...fiancee, to be in TEARS if family members don't come.

But in all fairness, if I got an invitation (before getting engaged), I would assume that I couldd bring a date. Only because, I am oblivious to the rules!! In fact, now that I think about it, I think I did that!

Personally, I just want this day here, and over! The best part of theknot.com is the countdown. BRING IT ON!!

Tuesday, June 08, 2010 7:38:00 PM  

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