Friday, October 12, 2007

I got a "B" in my relationship.

Haha! It doesn't really work like that though.

Husband2be and I are starting premarital counseling. I don't know if others are doing this as well but for us it's necessary for us to be married in our church. Months ago I was deadset on not having to "go to classes" in order to get married but now that we've started this process, I'm understanding it much differently.

The process of counseling is actually not to talk about issues that you actively have but more to be preventative about issues that might arise in the future because they were never brought up or discussed before you become married.

Our pastor happens to be a very forward thinking type (who also looks and sounds like Quentin Tarentino - but that's really another blog posting) and directed us to a website called Zoe Score in order to assess the "issues" that we need to look at before legally binding ourselves to one another.

The system creates a 300 or so questionnaire that presents situations and asks a number of types of questions in different ways so as to get an accurate answer of how you feel about one thing specifically. Both people are supposed to take it separately and then you compare answers with the help of your moderator.

He has told us repeatedly not to equate our score to our success in our relationship but we got a solid 80% and it's so much funnier for me to think of it like a grade since we are both teachers.

Not sure how much it costs to take the test since the cost was subsidized for us by some church members who really believe in premarital counseling but I will say that after seeing the results, I think it was well worth the time and the money that I would have paid anyway. I think even if you don't have someone leading your through premarital discussions it could be a really good thing to go through and discuss amongst yourselves.


Blogger Mrs. NearlyWed said...

I am a huge advocate of pre-marital counseling whether its religious or not. I see a huge difference in couples that participate in it, than those that don't, even during the planning issues.

Friday, October 12, 2007 10:00:00 AM  

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