Thursday, June 12, 2008

Rules of Engagement: What You Need to Know

Who would have thought that getting engaged was something that you had to put on full protective gear for!  It's somewhat combative in nature due to the barrage of questions fired at you by everyone from your mother to complete strangers in the elevator.  So, take it from me - be prepared!

1. Know who's on the short list - who you are going to call in the 10 minutes after it happens.  In fact, outside of the parents, I'd recommend sending a text to siblings, other family members and close friends.

2. Turn your phone off!  Seriously, your phone will exploded with all the well-wishes, which are awesome, but...spend some quality time with your fiance basking in the excitement of the commitment.

3. Know the date - its the first question and everyone wants an answer right away.  So, don't be vague (my response was maybe May, June, or September of next year) - that doesn't satisfy people's curiosity and encourages unsolicited advice.  If you don't have a date - make one up.  Really. 

4. Know where you are going to get married - This should be an easy answer, but if for some reason its not been settled between you and your soon-to-be spouse, pick a place.  Any place. People will want to know, trust me. 

5. Have pictures taken.  Why? Well for one you'll want to remember the occasion, but also because your parents will want to submit the announcement to the local newspaper right away and a picture is a necessity.  You also want to have a general sense of what you plan to say, particularly if you have divorced/remarried parents, etc.

6. Know who you want in your wedding - and don't ask them.  Not yet anyway.  Even if you do know - don't ask anyone to be in the wedding in the midst of your excitement.  Let things calm down and then reconsider.  There are so many well-wishers and people you care about, its easy to get caught up in the moment, run your mouth and oops! you've now got 14 bridesmaids!!  So stay mum on these arrangements!!

6 1/2.  And the special bonus prize?  Know what your wedding colors are going to be.  Who would think that would be a questioned asked in the first week after getting engaged, but it sure is!  I still have no sense of what colors I want, but people keep asking!  I'm inclined to start saying in "pink and green" just to see the priceless expressions I'll get in reaction.  Hee hee heee.

But, seriously, these are a few of the things that I wish I had known to expect.  I'd typically say - lesson learned for the next time, but I don't plan on a next time!

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

this couldn't have come at a better time. i have a *hunch* that boyfriend might be proposing this weekend sooo i'm definitely going to keep this in mind :) :) thanks!

Friday, June 13, 2008 6:54:00 AM  
Blogger erin*carly said...

great list!

you're so right about the 'date' thing . . . everyone keeps asking us "when's the wedding?". my usual answer of 'eh, sometime' gets a few giggles, but other than that, people seem miffed that we haven't picked a date yet.

in all honesty though, we can't pick one yet - he's military, and we just found out he won't be transferring until Sep. '09 . . . if we're lucky. we originally thought he'd be moving in June '09, and maybe, just maybe we'd get married that fall. not anymore! looks like we'll have to wait a year before we can even start planning.

i guess my typical answer is accurate.

Friday, June 13, 2008 9:01:00 AM  
Blogger Miss Fairfax said...

I would also add, be conscientious about whom you call and tell directly. I cannot for the life of me recall where I read this, but will source when I do, that if you personally call/visit someone to tell them the good news, be aware you may create an expectation of a wedding invite. We knew we'd have a small ceremony, so we informed immediate family and a few friends and then slowly and later on let others know (or gave the ok for mutual friends to pass the news). We often accompanied this with a "We're really excited, we're planning a really intimate ceremony/recep. of about 40 people."

Monday, June 16, 2008 3:41:00 PM  

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