Friday, November 07, 2008

A Heart Attack in Waiting

We got an email from our planner at our reception hall (well, restaurant) yesterday. He started the email by saying "this is worst case scenario, we can talk about all options next week."

110 people. Open bar, roaming appetizers, and steak for entree's for $13,000. I did have the heart attack as our planner suspected I might. But then I thought about it and in all reality isn't that horrible. Especially considering I know people who have spent $50k on weddings.

Unfortunately, my budget is much much smaller than that. I'm blessed with a father who's giving us a decent chunk of change, unfortunately that chunk is not even half of the $13,000. I have a mother who is trying to help, future in laws who want to help and well...Fiancé and I are just trying to pay down debt and save. The two aren't exactly helpful...but it's what we got and we've gotta make like Project Runway and "make it work."

We managed to look at the proposal last night, the options we were given, and knock it down to around $4500 not including tax and gratuity. Not too shabby. Of course we're also knocking a chunk of our guest list down, inviting about 100 people instead of 120 and expecting about 75 because about 90% of our guests are from out of town. This is down from an original guest list of about 150.

Earlier in the week, I was about to have a major bridezilla moment if I didn't get that proposal, considering we expected it back in September. Luckily, I kept Bridezilla GP in the box and tamed myself. Glad I did because despite the fact that the planner has been slightly MIA over the past month and a half he's a good guy and wants to make this into exactly what we want. Awesome. It is entirely doable, we might not have a lot of appetizers, but we've been at weddings where the appetizers were all devoured, at weddings that had a sushi chef, various carving and pasta stations as well as a stir fry sous chef - while it's all lovely, I could barely eat my meal after that and was so stuff I could barely dance. I don't want that at my wedding, maybe a nice cheese spread, maybe. Knowing my family, they'll all be crowded around the bar anyhow. But for me it's an extra $2,000 that well...to be honest, we can't really afford.

My family members from Vermont aren't exactly... super classy. Many of them are borderline...hillbillies, bless their hearts, I love them to death but they are. My family (either side fyi), have not had the classiest of weddings over the years. For example, of the weddings that I've been to of family members; one of my cousins wedding was in her mothers back yard with my younger cousins getting drunk in the basement (I was 19 and no, I was not in the basement, I was driving). Another cousin's wedding, which I was a flower girl in at the age of 4, ended up with two family members in a fist fight. My grandmother's wedding in 2001 (yes my maternal grandmother remarried at the age of 70) had my uncle and cousins doing jello shots. So I don't think appetizers are a deal breaker in whether my family has fun or not. Fiancé's family is a bit more classy than mine, but I think the FMIL would rather invite ten more of her friends (that the room won't fit) than have appetizers - if it came down to that option (which it won't). I'm not a scrooge here, or even a "bridezilla." I just know that my family, at the very least, will likely all be getting down on the dance floor with their Miller Lights not enjoying the baked brie or crab dip during the "cocktail hour."

What about you all? Are appetizers - roaming or a spread - a necessity at your wedding or just an added cost that you don't want to deal with?

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear about your budget challenges... don't you mean a "heart attack" not "hear?"

Friday, November 07, 2008 4:07:00 PM  
Blogger Abbie said...

We're dealing with the same budget issues right now, too. It's just about put me over the edge! We are going to go back over our guest list this weekend to begin the cutting. We are probably going to end up doing light apps and then a buffet dinner to save a bit of $$. Good luck with everything!

Friday, November 07, 2008 4:13:00 PM  
Blogger AmyJean {Relentless Bride®} said...

Money is not the most important thing, but when you don't have it, it can become a focus... I always say that to my FH!

I'm so sorry to hear about your "heart attack" moment. and Yes 13k is a huge chunk of change. I think its great that you find yourself so lucky to have help from your family and that you are realistic with your situation and that you INTEND to stick to a budget. Your wedding day will be fabulous regardless of if you do or don't have appetizers, do or don't have a full bar, and do or don't have the most expensive foods.

Just remember its your day, but it is just "a" day ... and if you and your FH don't want to suffer the effects of "your day" for years after, then do what is best for you!

Friday, November 07, 2008 4:15:00 PM  
Blogger Mrs. LC said...

I totally agree with the comment above mine. My husband and I got married and did the whole thing for under $5000 (including things like my sister's bridesmaid dress, french mani/pedis for my mom, sister, and I, etc.). We scoured for the best financial options, it was a lot of work, but our wedding day was SO beautiful, such a great memory (it goes by SO fast!) and I think it was probably even better knowing that we were able to stick to the small budget we set out with.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 5:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow Mrs. LC $5000 is my budget for EVERYTHING as well! The things most important to me is a reasonable venue, good food, and a good photographer. Am I asking too much for $5000? When they say wedding planning is stressful they weren't lying! I just want everyone to have a good time and enjoy themselves. Can it actually be done for only 5000?

Thursday, November 20, 2008 4:06:00 PM  
Blogger Mrs. LC said...

Yes, it can be done, and it doesn't have to be a "cheap" wedding to be a beautiful, inexpensive wedding! Email me at mrslcblog(at)gmail.com if you want more specifics on how we did it so cheaply. :)

Thursday, November 20, 2008 10:21:00 PM  

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