Marriage "Matters"
Mr. CP and I have had a rough few weeks. With the wedding planning in full gear (107 days!AHHHHH), we also have moved (technically I am Miss Crystal City now), his job is in limbo with the economy and I have been a little under the weather. It has been a liiiiiiitle stressful, and to be quite frank, we have been bickering more than usual and its been tough. Last night, we got just what the doctor ordered....Marriage Class!
Mr. CP and I are taking a course through a synagogue with 4 other Jewish couples (one of who is a fan of the blog, Hi Lexie!). Last night's class was about communication and somewhat about disagreements. First, she asked us to pick a topic of disagreement that is not closed, something that's on-going. Then, she handed us a list of positive characteristics. We were then to circle the characteristics that our to-be spouse has and even make notes of examples next to it. The funny part was we didn't share this with each other. It was simply to put us in a good frame of mind about each other and remind ourselves why we are getting married and we love and cherish about each other.
At this point, we discussed what makes good listeners, and although we laughed about it, it was definitely helpful to be reminded to not interrupt and to really listen to each other. She asked that we go in the hall for 15 minutes and discuss the issue. All of the couples returned with positive feedback. For different reasons, this worked. For me, I was in a different state of mind. I had JUST reminded myself how wonderful of a person he is and then all of a sudden were talking about money, which tends to be a sore topic for us! The main difference was we tend to interrupt each other in a heated way, "I was speaking! Listen!" or "You're not even listening" whereas in this exercise Mr. CP would flash a smile at me and say in a sing-song voice, "its not your turn yet" and I would laugh and it lightened the conversation.
I am surprised to say I am really enjoying the class and I feel that every time we go, we take away something important. Have you taken a Pre-Martial class? What did you get out of it?
Mr. CP and I are taking a course through a synagogue with 4 other Jewish couples (one of who is a fan of the blog, Hi Lexie!). Last night's class was about communication and somewhat about disagreements. First, she asked us to pick a topic of disagreement that is not closed, something that's on-going. Then, she handed us a list of positive characteristics. We were then to circle the characteristics that our to-be spouse has and even make notes of examples next to it. The funny part was we didn't share this with each other. It was simply to put us in a good frame of mind about each other and remind ourselves why we are getting married and we love and cherish about each other.
At this point, we discussed what makes good listeners, and although we laughed about it, it was definitely helpful to be reminded to not interrupt and to really listen to each other. She asked that we go in the hall for 15 minutes and discuss the issue. All of the couples returned with positive feedback. For different reasons, this worked. For me, I was in a different state of mind. I had JUST reminded myself how wonderful of a person he is and then all of a sudden were talking about money, which tends to be a sore topic for us! The main difference was we tend to interrupt each other in a heated way, "I was speaking! Listen!" or "You're not even listening" whereas in this exercise Mr. CP would flash a smile at me and say in a sing-song voice, "its not your turn yet" and I would laugh and it lightened the conversation.
I am surprised to say I am really enjoying the class and I feel that every time we go, we take away something important. Have you taken a Pre-Martial class? What did you get out of it?
Labels: Miss Cleveland Park, pre-marital class
posted by Miss Cleveland Park at 4:40 PM
2 Comments:
Thanks for the shoutout.. i really liked it as well :-)
Another great pre-marriage class is being offered by the local Jewish Community Centers.
Tying the Knot is being held March 12-April 2 at the JCC of Northern Virginia (www.jccnv.org); and from April 23-May 14 at both the Washington DC JCC (www.washingtondcjcc.org) and the JCC of Greater Washington in Rockville (www.jccgw.org)
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