Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Paying tribute

Last fall I asked my maternal grandmother, my last living grandparent, to send me something that I could keep with me on my wedding day in case she wasn't able to travel from the Philippines. I wanted her to know that she was very special and her presence at my wedding was very important to me. Within a few weeks, I had received a card and a letter scrawled with her signature and a few keepsakes of hers: 1) a rosary because Catholicism is very important to her and 2) a handerkerchief because she's always warm and 3) a fan because she has a strong Spanish heritage and because she always had either a fan or a handkerchief with her. I was very touched when she sent me all three, along with her card.

Unfortunately, Lola Rose (Lola = "grandmother" in Tagalog) passed away early last Wednesday morning. My family, including my sister in London, flew to California to say our last goodbyes to her before they sent her to the Philippines. Her death was and probably will be for some time, especially difficult for my mother, sister, and me because we were closest with her and we all looked up to her. She was the model wife and mother to us, ever loving, selfless, and kind. She was intelligent, witty, and funny and always knew the right thing to say when you came to her with your problems.

Now I struggle with the best way to remember her at our wedding. I know she'll be with us in spirit, but I still want to recognize her . However, will it seem inconsiderate and rude if I don't recognize my other 3 grandparents? I thought about having their wedding pictures displayed somewhere. I also thought about having a rose in the front row in memory of her, but will I need 6 roses (both pairs of my grandparents and one set of Signor Keswick's)? That may seem excessive and lose its meaning. I definitely think simpler is better, but finding something appropriate and fitting for such a great woman is a tall order. However, all my grandparents were wonderful people, so I may just do something for both sets and my fiance's as well.



Blogger AmyJean {Relentless BrideĀ®} said...

I'm also struggling with how to do this in a classy and respectful way but also so as not to cause too much pain for the absence of the person... I like your idea of the roses on the chair. It's sweet, subtle, simple and classy!

Wednesday, February 04, 2009 7:49:00 AM  

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