Wednesday, June 03, 2009

The Bridesmaids Shoe Dilemma

I decided to go against the usual.

I decided that I didn't have the energy to find a shoe that would please all of my bridesmaids. Besides, I'm the shortest one anyhow, so I don't care if my bridesmaid that's almost a foot taller than me wears 2" heels or wears ballet flats, same with my taller-than-me Maid of Honor (sister)

I decided, as much as comfort is important to me, it should be important to me to let my gals be comfortable in what they wear to my wedding.

I looked for pictures, and the few that I found of brides who didn't put their gals in matching shoes looked fine. I think it'll add a certain uniqueness to the pictures.

Unfortunately, I told them to either get them in navy, green or pink - because well. Who doesn't like a rainbow of colors, right? And since the dresses are all cocktail length and navy from Aria Dress, I thought adding some color and personality to the pictures would add a little umph to the pictures.

But after reading this thread on Weddingbee, I'm beginning to second guess myself. Maybe I should have told them navy shoes. But what if some of them already bought shoes in pink or green?

Weigh in, what do you think? Should bridesmaids wear matchy-matchy shoes (even though not all of them like heels - my sister never wears heels and picked a chunky shoe, my tall bridesmaid would be towering over all of us in any sort of heel, and my other three bridesmaids, are likely indifferent), my biggest thing is comfort and costs. They're spending so much to come down here so I'm trying to keep costs to a minimum and I like to think that letting them wear a dress that they could wear again and shoes they picked out for themselves, they're getting the most bang for their buck.

Thoughts??? Did you make your bridesmaids wear matchy matchy shoes?

(image via Budget SaavyBride)

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Blogger AllieBoBallie said...

I think that the more personality your bridesmaids' outfits have, the more personality your wedding will have, too. And just think of the cute shoes photos... (I love shoes.)

Thursday, June 04, 2009 7:50:00 AM  
Blogger Molly said...

I think the girls in that thread on dipping their toes in the Bridezilla pool. Seriously, let your girls wear the shoes they want.

Put yourself in their position, would you want to spend money on shoes you may never again? I wouldn't.

There are so few pictures taken that shoes will be seen - I would stick with your original plan.

Thursday, June 04, 2009 7:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stand firm in your original lovely idea!! Remember being told as a kid that you shouldn't change an answer on a test, because your first thought was probably right? Goes double for weddings.

No second guessing! Your ideas -- that it would add a pop of color to the pics, that they would be more likely to wear something they picked out (and maybe even find it on sale!) -- were sound, and your first impulse, which means it's probably what you really wanted.

I told my BMs to wear their own outfits (including shoes and hair), with general color/style guidelines, and I'm so excited to see what they all pick! You've specified that the dresses should be navy, so you know you'll get that, and seeing what shoes everyone picked out will be a great attire highlight! Don't bow to the pressure to make everyone matchy-matchy -- be proud of the fact that you're letting them express their personality, and look forward to seeing the lovely, colorful results!

Thursday, June 04, 2009 7:57:00 AM  
Blogger Only One Heidi said...

thanks for the advice ladies :) Y'all are definitely right :) I'm excited to see how they turn out too!

Thursday, June 04, 2009 8:16:00 AM  
Blogger Sharpiegirl said...

It's been a month since I got married and I can't even REMEMBER what shoes the girls wore.
I got the pictures back yesterday and they weren't the same but I think it looked good. Of course we had a little more casual wedding than most people do.

Thursday, June 04, 2009 8:39:00 AM  
Blogger Just Jor said...

My bridesmaids are wearing navy dresses. Granted they are long, but i told them to go buck wild and wear whatever they want. I think that in the end you're not going to notice.

In that thread, where they say that shoes make the whole outfit, while I agree---I don't think matching shoes are necessarily the way to go. You let them get what they want and just give them a once over to make sure they don't make you wretch and have a fantastic colorful wedding:-)

Thursday, June 04, 2009 9:23:00 AM  
Blogger D-Day said...

I'm so glad everyone is on the same page here. Please do not let those weddingbee ladies worry you! I agree with all these comments here, your idea is great and it will work out. If you're really concerned, you could ask your maids to show you what they've picked out ahead of time? But really, your girls will thank you for allowing them to pick their own shoes, and I'm sure they'll all keep your wedding in mind and not choose shoes that are really outlandish.

Thursday, June 04, 2009 9:44:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm in the "just be yourself & be comfortable" camp. i think people look their best in something they're comfy in, and that no two people are comfy in teh exact same getup. so letting them pick shoes they want to wear (or not have to buy) is how i operate as well.

i honestly believe that unless your bridesmaids are all clones they're all going to look their best in different shoes, hair, makeup, and sometimes dresses.

Thursday, June 04, 2009 9:53:00 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

I'm not a bride, but I've been a bridesmaid a few times and in all the weddings I've been in, except one, we've been able to pick our own shoes. The bride would only tell us what color she wanted us to wear and we could wear any shoe in that color. Most of the time the color as been pretty neutral like, gold or silver, which is something we could use again, not just for that particular wedding.

Thursday, June 04, 2009 11:24:00 AM  
Blogger Krista said...

I like a matchy matchy event myself since youre going to be able to see the shoes since the dresses aren't floor length. However, it is a unique idea to have them all wear different things and could turn out to be a wonderful idea! Good luck!!

Thursday, June 04, 2009 12:02:00 PM  
Blogger Caroline said...

I like things to be matching, and I also want a nice picture, however, if you did different colors in the same style shoe would be nice as well...

Thursday, June 04, 2009 2:10:00 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

I wore a similar navy dress last July in a wedding and we all wore silver shoes.

It looked awesome.

Thursday, June 04, 2009 8:34:00 PM  
Blogger Lexilooo said...

I think you know this already, but the first time I was a bridesmaid, I had to buy really expensive shoes to match the dress we wore. Of course, they had to be dyed too. I was a bridesmaid two times after that, and I could wear whatever shoes I wanted. Luckily, those next two dresses were the same shade of green as the first, so I wore those shoes THREE times. At least I got my money's worth :)

Friday, June 05, 2009 3:28:00 PM  
Blogger Miss Keswick said...

I've been struggling with this for 2 weeks. For the longest time, I thought black strappy heels - whatever style they wanted that were comfortable. Now I'm considering gold matte shoes...and I don't know whether to let them vote or just mandate. I hate to be that bride, though!

Saturday, June 06, 2009 7:32:00 PM  

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