Wednesday, August 05, 2009

mama drama

mmk raise your hand if your mom - as much as you love her - is driving you a little nutty during this wedding planning process.

*raises hand*

My mom and I have a pretty good relationship. I mean it's a little rocky sometimes (a lot of drama in the past that has settled for the most part), but generally we get along, and she does try very hard to be helpful. But sometimes.. sigh.

par exemple. A few weeks ago she took me to Michael's and JoAnn Fabric for some wedding craftiness supplies, and I told her I wanted to try making my own birdcage veil so I was looking for french or russian netting. JoAnn did not have any, so I said I'd just order it online. My mom says she could probably crochet something like what I'm looking for and I was amazed that that might be possible and agreed that she should try making a small bit of it to see if it was what I had in mind. It was clear that this was a no-obligation experiment, if I didn't like it, it would be fine, and all she was making was the netting, not the whole veil.

and then last night she emails me saying she's got this grand sketch of a veil design and she's not sure if it's going to work but if it does she thinks it's going to be really pretty. I asked her if I could see the sketch and she said she didn't want me to see it until it was done, and even admitted that she might have to win me over on it.

I'm trying really hard not to let any kind of bridezilla out during this whole process, certainly don't want to unleash it on my mother, but I was kind of hurt that she had just tried to hijack my veil making plans and then on top of it, she thought it would be ok for her to guilt me into wearing the veil she designed for me without my input.

I feel a little bad for having basically put an abrupt Stop Work order on her project. I know that she just wants to contribute and be helpful (she is not able to contribute in any way financially). But we're still 8 months out so I figured I needed to be firm now so I don't lose control of the whole wedding by the time it comes around.

I think I'm being dramatic about this incident leading to losing control of the wedding. But I'm curious if this is a pretty regular occurrance, where mothers and/or other loved ones try very hard to help but end up driving you insane.


Blogger Molly said...

Yes! And now my mom is teaming up with my aunt (who recently planned my cousin's ENTIRE wedding - although she wanted her to).

I just say I'm not so much a fan of that and then quickly change to another topic.

We're still 10 months out - so Lord help me - we'll make it through! It has however brought us closer than we were before - so it's give and take.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009 3:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i feel ya, and you're not being dramatic. mama drama has been the only thing to make me want to be bridezilla too!
with my mom it's the flowergirl dresses. months ago i was looking for some when i talked to my mom and she said she could make them, i politely talked her out of it and said i'd rather just buy them and i'll "need" her help on other things. next thing i know i called her and said "what are you doing today?" and got the response: going to pick out patterns for flowergirl dresses.
um, yah. i ended up caving and telling her fine just so she would stop pouting and create less drama for me. i still haven't seen them (we live in different states) and i know we have very different taste so i still don't know if they're going to be at all what i was telling her i wanted. she has a habit of doing what she wants no matter what.
sorry for the long comment, just wanted to sympathize with you a bit : )

Wednesday, August 05, 2009 4:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG, woman, you are not alone. My mom has freaked about every decision i have made (from venue to color scheme to dress to invitations). Her latest obsession is the rehearsal dinner. (She called me on my way to work this morning -- twice -- to discuss cheese.) Bless her heart, she's driving me BATTY. Hang in there, though, and stand up for what you want! You're not being overly dramatic -- it's your wedding, after all, not hers.

Thursday, August 06, 2009 8:49:00 AM  
Blogger X said...

I fired my mother from 3 diff. jobs- centerpieces, photo displays, and bakery/cake research- because she couldn't keep to my timelines and made some, um, different aesthetic choices than that which I would have made. Finally put her in charge of kids entertainment and STILL vetoed her watergun and frisbee attempts (srsly? WATER GUNS and FLYING PROJECTILES?!?!) before she settled on pinwheels. Yeeesh.

Monday, August 10, 2009 3:14:00 PM  

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