I Am The Warrior…Worrier?
The email went on to explain that there are many little things that us brides forget to practice, which, for me, translates to all the little things we forget to worry about while we are preoccupied with worrying about the big things. I admit it. I am a worrier. My fiancé claims that it’s one of the things he loves about me (well, maybe he refers to it as “caring”). However, being a worrier and planning a wedding don’t always jive.
When I woke up three different times last night and couldn’t get back to sleep, I tossed and turned, consumed by minute details regarding the big day—Did I pick the right colors? Is Mr. Cathedral Heights ever going to look at tuxedos? Will I get so anxious walking down the aisle in front of all those people that I pass out? Is it crazy to be spending so much money on one day when I don’t even have a car? And I still have seven months of worrying to go!
I remember when my best friend and bridesmaid—I'll call her K—got married. She said something about being concerned for me when it came time to plan my wedding. She knows me very well and had the foresight to predict how my personality might clash with having hundreds of details to organize and choices to make while everyone I’ve ever known tells me what they think I should do.
After racking my brain—and my mother’s, and K’s, and my fiance’s—over the past few weeks, I came to the understanding that I need to allow myself to not worry about some of the details. I’ll focus on the big items, or the items that matter most to me, and I’ll ask for help with the other stuff (I supposed this realization seems obvious to most). I had a moment of clarity today as well, when I took a step back and looked at the big picture. We’re planning an enormous party for ourselves—a day surrounded by loved ones, celebrating our relationship, our future, and our families joining together. This should be fun!
So, no, I hadn’t thought about practicing our wedding kiss. In fact, I want it to be spontaneous (or, as spontaneous as a planned moment that happens in pretty much every similar event can be), filled with excitement and love and nerves. I’ve made a decision: I’m going to give myself permission not to worry about the kiss.