Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Indecision 2009: The Dress

I have sort of alluded before in previous posts about my shaky relationship with my gown. My initial reaction to my gown was an overwhelming feeling of...something... I loved the gown and I thought it was gorgeous. I changed our wedding theme because of this gown! My favorite part of the dress was the bodice and the beading. I felt it was definitely bohemian chic and it gave me that ethereal, flowy feeling that I wanted. Something afterwards, however, just did not feel...right...

And, I admit, I am not good at making decisions. I am an impulse buyer and I often suffer from buyers remorse. In fact, one of my girlfriends refuses to go shopping with me because she says that I always end up returning everything that I buy, so giving her opinion on what things look good and enjoying the shopping experience is moot.

So after I purchased the gown, I freaked out! I began having screaming matches with myself in my head..."This was my wedding dress!," "OMG! This was it!," "Am I sure this is the one I want to wear?," "I cannot return it!" "I have paid HOW MUCH!? "...so on and so forth.

The long wait after ordering the gown did not help either. I kept staring at pictures of myself in the dress sample and finding reasons why I now HATED this gown. It caused so much anxiety that I finally went behind my fiance's back and against all advice and ordered another gown online. Granted, this gown was cheap, (comparatively speaking) it was much more traditional and in a shape that I thought looked good on me.

Well, the second dress arrived before the first...I loved the neckline, but that was about it. It was just not as special as the first. The fabric was not as nice, the bead work was ok, and the lack of a waist line did not help my figure. So, not only did I have one gown that Iwas freaking out about...I had TWO! After several attempts to sell the second dress on ebay and other avenues, I decided to take the dress to I Do I Do in Gaithersburg to be sold via consignment.

This course of events did not take care of my frustration with my first gown. The dress arrived and I took pictures of myself in the gown at the salon when I picked it up. My step-mother and cousin both love the gown and at the time I picked it up, I started to feel those initial feelings of elation I had before. After obsessing over pictures of myself in the dress, however, I started to hate it again... What I don't like are the over the shoulder straps and the neckline. I feel it does not flatter my shape and looks matronly.

I had a LONG discussion with Mr. Glen Echo about my concerns and expressed to him that it was not just me being crazy and over obsessive...well...at least not all of it. He could tell that this was not just something that I was concerned about, but something that was causing me much anxiety and sadness. He agreed that if I find THE ONE and it is reasonably priced, I can purchase another gown and we will just take a loss on the money I already spent (OH, how I love this man!).

It is hard to agree to waste that much money on something that is so incidental in a way...but I could not rest until I got this right...no matter how stupid or badly I felt about it. I feel crazy about buying three dresses and I would judge me too if I were you reading this...but this is the only area of planning so far that I have regretted.

I still have the first gown and I plan to see what Angie can do with it. However, I did purchase the third (and final) gown through Netbride.com for a much less price than I would have through a salon. The funny thing is, I initially had a large budget for my wedding gown and I have purchased THREE gown within that initial budget.

Has anyone else gone through dress drama? What did you do about it?

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Blogger Mikaiya said...

I definitely had dress drama (most of it I laid out here. And I am trusting Angie to make it better.

But I'm still really upset about my gown. The things I really really wanted... I mostly got. But it doesn't fit, and I can't believe I had to have such major alterations done because the gown actually came in with a bust a full inch smaller than the manufacturer measurements. And there are some things about the dress that I imagined, that simply aren't true once I see the photos. I wanted lace all the way to the floor- and it's not. The lace ends maybe 6-10 inches above the ground, and is then just boring old tulle at the bottom. Not even attractive tulle. The rhinestones along the top of the gown that I hated can be removed- but now I worry that the neckline won't look remarkable at all. With my mid-November wedding, it's too late- I have to just suck it up. But man, do I have buyer's remorse.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009 1:58:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Oh, I am sorry you are dealing with that. It is totally disappointing to feel like you are going to get one thing or look a certain way and then it doesn't work out. People keep telling me that I will look beautiful no matter what, but I want to make sure I feel that way...

Tuesday, September 01, 2009 7:38:00 PM  
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Tuesday, September 01, 2009 8:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had a little dress drama when I started out my search. First there was the dress at Hitched that was way over my budget but I wanted. Then I bought one at a sample sale at Corinne's and sold that one and was back to the Hitched gown. Finally found "the one" at Filene's Running of the Brides, took it to Angie and had her add pockets and modify the neckline and it was perfect and WAY under my budget. I think that while it was so fun to go try on a million dresses, I settled on the style i wanted and only looked for gowns in that style. Once I bought gown I have now, i stopped looked at gowns online and in magazines and just kept envisioning myself in my dress :-)

It took me about 3 months of dresses and buying dresses to get myself in check. Good luck and whatever gown you get, you will look fabulous in it.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009 11:28:00 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

See I think that is what my problem was, I wasn't looking for something specific until AFTER I purchased the other gowns and realized that I wanted a combination of the two. Like I wanted something flowy with straps, but I wanted a sweetheart neckline...so the first two dresses are basically a combination of the final gown. What is funny is that I have not looked at any other dresses since I picked out this last gown. I tried on the dress...sort of...and realized that it was exactly what I wanted. I mostly feel terrible about the money aspect...

Thursday, September 03, 2009 8:04:00 AM  

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