The Ensemble -- Alternately Titled, "Go away, Mr. JeffMemorial!"

We're under the 70 day mark, which is just terrifying and exciting all at the same time. I now regularly get that "Oh my god! I'm getting married!" feeling. I mean, it's really happening!

Thankfully I have had most everything done for quite some time now considering this wedding has been almost two years in the making. While I am now tying up loose ends and firming up dinner reservations and winery tours for the honeymoon, for the most part I'm not feeling like I have left something undone. (Hooray!)

This does, of course, lead me to dwell on details. (A bride dwelling on details?! Next thing you know, I'll be telling you the sky is blue and water is wet!) Recently I've been pondering my whole wedding ensemble. It's taken a few months, but the whole look as finally come together... I think.

Well, I have the dress...

It's the dress picture above in this color (navy blue, for the click-through phobic), and no that's not me.

I also have the shoes.


I have Swarovski Bella Golden Earrings.

And I have a cute handmade clutch from Etsy seller "UpStyle"!

But I'm not really sold on wearing a necklace. I've asked a few people, and they're sort of split down the middle between "Absolutely no necklace! It'll take away from the dramatic neckline," and "Of course! That dress screams for a necklace!"

God, I feel silly writing this--pondering extensively over whether to necklace or not to necklace. I guess it's one of those things where, since I very rarely get dressed up, I want to do it right. And it's not just the necklace. It's an overall ensemble anxiety, which sounds pretty ridiculous. I love all of these pieces separately; let's hope they play well together, as well.

I am, however, inclined to say no to the necklace, favoring the "dramatic neckline" which is sad because there are so many beautiful bridal necklaces out there.

Part of me wonders if maybe I should have left a few actually important projects to the end of this planning process, heh. Then I wouldn't spend actual time thinking about frivolous stuff like this. Or maybe I should spend more time on my homework.

What little things did you surprisingly get hung up on?

The Sad Bride

Something borrowed, something blue, something old, yadda yadda yadda. The rebellious spirit inside me yearns to fight against the many traditions associated with weddings, especially the ones that don’t make sense to me. For example, if it’s easier for Mr. Cathedral Heights and I to have our pictures taken in our wedding garb an hour or so before the ceremony, what’s the big deal if he sees me in my dress? Yet, he’s absolutely against the idea. Why even take the chance of having bad luck, he points out. I understand his reasoning, but it still seems so silly to me.

Many of our wedding traditions stem from past cultural norms that no longer apply to present-day society. The lifting of the veil once symbolized the groom taking possession of his bride. The white wedding dress symbolized purity. The throwing of the rice symbolized fertility. I don’t need a veil, white doesn’t look good on me, and, really, isn’t throwing rice a waste of food?

Queen Victoria (at her 1840 wedding) is credited
with starting the white wedding tradition,
including the white gown.

The fourth time I went wedding dress shopping, I felt grouchy and tired of looking at beautiful gowns that seemed an amalgamation of overpriced white lace, silk, and frills. I honestly couldn’t even tell which dresses complemented me—during the last three tries I had more than one moment where I thought I was feeling the sparks of the one. Wedding dresses are almost their own entity—they could probably walk down the aisle by themselves and do fine. They don’t even need my seemingly-large-compared-to-wedding-dress-sample-sizes body.

“You’re such a sad bride,” said my bridesmaid, K, with a slight smirk on her face.

She knew I couldn’t stand being stuck in the tiny bridal store filled with mothers and aunts and friends gushing over super-skinny brides and clerks ignoring me even though I was exactly on time for my appointment (for once in my life). However, when I took K’s advice and tried on a dress that she pulled off the rack that I never would have picked for myself, my smile broke through the clouds. It wasn’t an “I found the meaning of life” moment, but it was a special moment, I have to admit, especially when the store broke into applause at my announcement that this indeed would be my wedding dress.

When the salesperson brought over a veil for me to try on, I told her I would not be wearing a veil. Moments later I stood staring at myself in the mirror, veil and all. I admitted that I didn’t hate the veil, in fact I kind of liked the veil, even though I didn’t want to like it.

Another salesperson passing by, who had given me a slightly annoyed look when I arrived with my grouchy attitude, turned to me and spoke. “We don’t have many traditions left in our culture. I think it’s okay to enjoy the few that we do continue to follow.”

And with that sentiment in mind, I said yes to the dress even though it was well over my budget and I graciously accepted K’s generous offer to loan me the veil she wore at her wedding. Now I can check off something borrowed and something new.

Dress Disaster

This should come as no big surprise...

to other brides out there, because I know I'm not the first (or last or only) bride-to-be that's felt confused, frustrated, and downright crazy about choosing their wedding gown.

As noted in my previous post, I went shopping at David's Bridal in Springfield last week with my mom and I tried on a nice variety of dresses. As described last week, on my fourth dress I was pretty much sold although I had a really hard time accepting that the fourth wedding dress I'd ever tried on in my life was "the dress."

We didn't have enough money on us (we never planned to find "the one," that day) to hold the dress, which turned out to be a really good thing. It gave me sometime to think about the dress and that's exactly what I did -- I couldn't stop thinking about it. Nevertheless, I decided it'd be a good idea to go to a boutique and give other, more expensive gowns a try in case I found something I liked more.

The good news is...

That the boutique didn't impress me at all. I didn't like trying on dresses that weren't my size (i.e. were too small) and I wasn't impressed with their selection either. Nothing I tried on compared to the dress we liked at David's Bridal and more importantly, most of the dresses were way out of our price range. Thanks anyway, Katherine's Bridal Boutique in Old Town.
When we got to David's Bridal (we went there directly from the boutique), I couldn't wait to show my MOH (she had never seen it) the dress and affirm the feelings I had all week. Happily, I put on the dress and it was exciting. I felt really happy and nervous all at the same time. We were all excited really. My MOH said she loved it and my mom gave me the look like, "There it is! That's the one!"

Nevertheless, I decide to try on a few more because we were getting ready to put money down on the dress and I wanted to be sure. My MOH pulls something from the racks, I think it's "ok," and ...

Here comes the bad news...

When I put it on, all the same sales associates and folks (including my mom) that said the first dress was "the one," had now changed there minds! Admittedly, the second dress was more flattering for my figure. It was also more appropraite for a fall wedding, because it's made with a thicker material, it's more comfortable, and it looks like an Oxon Hill Manor dress; however, I didn't get the warm fuzzies when I put it on.

If I wouldn't had gotten that feeling from the first dress, I'd say the warm fuzzies were a myth, but they're not! It is supposed to feel like the show, "Say Yes to the Dress" looks and you are supposed to be excited, right?

Well, I just wasn't. I would (and still will) admit it's a better dress than the first. It's a lot more flattering, like I said, but I had formed quite a relationship with the first dress. Not only that, but I was really tired by the time we got around to the second dress. I hadn't eaten all day and I couldn't for the life of me get excited about it. I put the first dress back on, then the second dress on again, and I was honestly stumped. I stood in front of the mirror confused, tired, and hungry, listening as my mom, my MOH, and everyone else in the store said "it's the one!"

In hindsight, I don't know why I didn't just say, "Let me sleep on it," or "I'm not sure." I felt obligated to buy something, being that we were at David's Bridal for the second time and everyone was in consensus, but here's why this post is called disaster...

I put the second dress on layaway and I'm not sure I want it anymore.

When I finally got some food in me and looked back through the pictures, I'll admit I started to get excited about the second dress. From the pictures (which I would post here, but there's too big a risk my fiance will see them) there's no doubt the second dress looks better. It's a very nice dress, designer made, marked down significantly, and it's growing on me, but as the days go on I can't help but feel a little sad.

How come I didn't get the warm fuzzies?

Also, did I mention that I called David's Bridal the very next morning to ask about their return policy? Turns out once the dress is on layaway, you forfiet 10 percent of the cost if you chose not to follow through with the sale or you can exchage it (once it's paid for) for another David's Bridal dress.

Share your Dress Disaster stories and of course, words of advice are always welcome...

The Dress

Being snowed in gave us a chance to look at our wedding plans and get focused. Saturday evening, my mom and I marked our calendars with all of the upcoming deadlines, such as when save the dates are sent, when we visit the florist, the caterers, when we'll register, and anything else we could think of.


The next day I was itching to scratch things off our massive list. I'd had enough talking about what we needed to do and I was ready to do it! So after doing all that we could at the house, which wasn't much, we decided to venture to David's Bridal to "check out some wedding dresses." I had originally hoped to bring my bridesmaids and my step mom with me to look at dresses, but after being stuck in the house for two days, the idea of going somewhere just seemed too appealing and I couldn't resist.

Let me start by saying that stepping foot into David's Bridal was an experience in and of itself. Seeing the dresses is much different than viewing them online! When I walked into the store, it all seemed real all the sudden and it was like I'd been sucked into an episode of "Say Yes to the Dress," and I was about to embark on a whole new chapter in the wedding planning world!

My mom and didn't wait for the sales associate to start pulling dresses, I think we picked up about five... The first dress was a very typical wedding dress. It was a white and sleeveless with a ruffled skirt. It had puff, but it wasn't too puffy. I really liked it. It was cute and it was comfortable!

 

{Photo credit: Weddingbee}

I really liked the second dress because it gave me more of a shape and it would be perfect for our outdoor venue. It was an a-line dress with a very simple detail and ironically, it looked just like my mother's wedding dress! I felt like my mom in this dress and you could definitely see the resemblance!

The third dress I tried on was feminine and flowy, but again nothing too big or puffy. It was a fun dress, with a little bit of embellishment on the hip. I liked it, but my mom and I were beginning to notice that in white dresses, I look a bit washed out because my skin is very fair. It was time to try out an ivory dress.

{Photo credit: The Knot}

I was seriously prepared to try on 50 dresses and walk out of there with nothing. I really only went to David's Bridal hoping to get a feel of the gown I wanted, not actually get one! You  never know when cupid's going to hit you with that love arrow though and oh how the fourth dress caught me off guard!

Let me just say that you may think you know what you want, but you really have no idea! When I stepped out of the dressing room with this gown on, I said to the consultant, "Oh no, this is too much!" However, when took a few steps in it and actually saw myself in the mirror, I felt like a princess -- like a bride -- and like a woman who had just found her wedding dress! It's elegant, sophisticated and well, there's just no way to describe it, really!

*Plus, my fiance might see this post and I don't want to give away ANY details about the dress that will spoil the big day! Also, did I mention there are no pictures of this gown either? It's a premiere gown, which means David's Bridal is testing it before they advertise it! Yep. It's a one-of-a-kind!*

The only (only, only) problem is that was only the fourth wedding dress I'd ever tried on. It just didn't seem... well, normal that it only took trying on three dresses to find THE DRESS! Not for me anyway, because I'm very indecisive. To test the connection I felt with this dress, we pulled two more dresses off the rack with features that were similar. Guess what happened. Yep. The last two dresses didn't compare to dress number four. Not at all!

I have to say I'm shocked at how easy dress shopping was. I think the tough part is going to be sticking with this dress and this decision. I absolutely cannot wait to put on the dress again and I think the second go around, we'll have even more confirmation it's the one! If it looks the way I have imagined, there is no doubt I have found THE DRESS. Yay!!

What was your experience buying a wedding gown?

How many dresses did you try on before you found the one?

The Dress, Miss JeffMemorial Style -- Just Add Drama!

So, I've had quite a road with my dress. Let me just say that I am notorious for changing my mind a million times, and it was the same when it came to The Dress. I mean, c'mon! It's the dress that requires capitalization; I was going to be choosy!

After months and months of me saying, "Oh, yes! That! No wait! No, no not that one. Oh, how about this one? This is absolutely THE one. Hrm, no... I have changed my mind. It's hideous," I found The Dress.

Gorgeous, right? I felt like such a lucky gal. I'm six feet tall and busty, and I was able to buy this number OFF. THE. RACK. No alterations were going to be needed except the bustle. I was over the moon because, due to my aforementioned tall-ness and busty-ness, I assumed that I would not only be budgeting for a dress but also alterations.

Mr. JeffM and I patted ourselves on the back and walked out of the David's Bridal in Springfield, Virginia (really nice people, by the way), poofy dress bag in tow.

When we got home, we were faced with something we had forgotten about completely...

Meet Horatio and Clover. Fluffy puppies of doom. Adorable, yes. (I mean have you seen those ears?!) But they are also diabolical little pooch muffins who can (and do) get into EVERYTHING. We knew that we had to store the dress somewhere else.

The obvious answer was my mother. She lives nearby in Virginia and is pet-free. I thought my dress would be safe!

I thought wrong.

Let me ask you a question. Do any of you have that one family member who can't seem to keep it together? You know what I'm talking about... everyone else in the family seems perfectly fine, but this one person is just, well, crazy. They either drink, or don't have a job, or are certifiable. Sometimes they're all three, and that's what I like to call the Crazy Pinata or the Trifecta of Doom.

Well, the Crazy Pinata in our family is my mother. I say that rather glibly, but it's actually rather sad. The only problem is that all of your sadness and sympathy tends to fall away fairly quickly, as she has gotten very good and making people angry.

Case in point: my wedding dress.

To make an already long story short, she threw out my wedding dress. She got angry with me and threw out my wedding dress. Why she was angry? I couldn't tell you. I think it had something to do with her not being invited to another wedding, or me not calling her every day, but it's rather moot because...

...she threw out my wedding dress. And she was proud of it.

This sent me into a spiraling depression about the wedding. I didn't want to plan anything. I didn't want to look at dresses. I was beside myself with oppressive sadness.

A few months past. I gradually started to snap out of it, but only out of necessity. Our May 2, 2010 wedding date was quickly approaching and I had not done anything in months. Oh yea, and our save the dates needed to go out.

So with the gusto and motivation of a grumpy snail, I began planning again. It soon came to pass that, as much as I didn't want to, I needed to start looking at dresses. Again. I was still feeling very reactionary toward the whole dress replacement dilemma. I thought about outright replacing the dress with the exact same one, but every time I looked at a picture of it, I got upset. I soon realized that simply buying the same one over again wasn't going to cut it.

I thought about my options, and I noticed that almost all the white and ivory dresses started running together. I felt a bit overwhelmed. I wanted something that was ME, and that didn't necessarily mean BRIDAL. We had already scrapped our plans for a standard wedding and instead opted for a unique and fun wedding venue (which is another blog for another time!), I thought why not just start going with my gut instead of what I think I should have.

This meant no white. No ivory. No champagne. No off white. No cream.

For a few months I stalked websites and designers, trying to find something for me. I have very particular tastes. This couldn't just be any dress. Then I thought I had found it. It was beautiful. It had pleats. It was in my price range. It was divine. I thought to myself, "Yes, Miss JeffMemorial, this is the dress!" True to form, it still took me another month to actually ORDER the dress, but I did it! Two days ago.

And then... tragedy struck. Again. This time, in the form of an email.

"The designer will not put extra length on this dress, please advise if you want to proceed with your order."

I'm not going to lie... I kind of flipped out a bit. It apparently was the only dress they won't add length to, and, because of my height, the dress was ONE INCH TOO SHORT.

What made it worse was that I had THREE hours to find a replacement dress and order that instead. I was set on the designer, and if I didn't get it in that day, I wasn't going to have my dress in time for the wedding.

What's funny is that, after this whole mess, I ended up with a better dress. A dress that I had looked at briefly, but said no to. Upon further inspection, however, I realized that I had passed over it too quickly, and that it actually was exactly what I was looking for. Dramatic. One shoulder. Classic, but different.

So without further ado, I present to you my dress...

This dress is actually featured as a wedding gown, as well. While I'm getting it in navy blue (as shown above), I'll show you the white version also, so you can see the detailing...

So there you have it. Miss JeffMemorial has a dress. Finally. Oh yea, and her name is Stella. She'll be in my little hands on March 19th.

Indecision 2009: The Dress

I have sort of alluded before in previous posts about my shaky relationship with my gown. My initial reaction to my gown was an overwhelming feeling of...something... I loved the gown and I thought it was gorgeous. I changed our wedding theme because of this gown! My favorite part of the dress was the bodice and the beading. I felt it was definitely bohemian chic and it gave me that ethereal, flowy feeling that I wanted. Something afterwards, however, just did not feel...right...

And, I admit, I am not good at making decisions. I am an impulse buyer and I often suffer from buyers remorse. In fact, one of my girlfriends refuses to go shopping with me because she says that I always end up returning everything that I buy, so giving her opinion on what things look good and enjoying the shopping experience is moot.

So after I purchased the gown, I freaked out! I began having screaming matches with myself in my head..."This was my wedding dress!," "OMG! This was it!," "Am I sure this is the one I want to wear?," "I cannot return it!" "I have paid HOW MUCH!? "...so on and so forth.

The long wait after ordering the gown did not help either. I kept staring at pictures of myself in the dress sample and finding reasons why I now HATED this gown. It caused so much anxiety that I finally went behind my fiance's back and against all advice and ordered another gown online. Granted, this gown was cheap, (comparatively speaking) it was much more traditional and in a shape that I thought looked good on me.

Well, the second dress arrived before the first...I loved the neckline, but that was about it. It was just not as special as the first. The fabric was not as nice, the bead work was ok, and the lack of a waist line did not help my figure. So, not only did I have one gown that Iwas freaking out about...I had TWO! After several attempts to sell the second dress on ebay and other avenues, I decided to take the dress to I Do I Do in Gaithersburg to be sold via consignment.

This course of events did not take care of my frustration with my first gown. The dress arrived and I took pictures of myself in the gown at the salon when I picked it up. My step-mother and cousin both love the gown and at the time I picked it up, I started to feel those initial feelings of elation I had before. After obsessing over pictures of myself in the dress, however, I started to hate it again... What I don't like are the over the shoulder straps and the neckline. I feel it does not flatter my shape and looks matronly.

I had a LONG discussion with Mr. Glen Echo about my concerns and expressed to him that it was not just me being crazy and over obsessive...well...at least not all of it. He could tell that this was not just something that I was concerned about, but something that was causing me much anxiety and sadness. He agreed that if I find THE ONE and it is reasonably priced, I can purchase another gown and we will just take a loss on the money I already spent (OH, how I love this man!).

It is hard to agree to waste that much money on something that is so incidental in a way...but I could not rest until I got this right...no matter how stupid or badly I felt about it. I feel crazy about buying three dresses and I would judge me too if I were you reading this...but this is the only area of planning so far that I have regretted.

I still have the first gown and I plan to see what Angie can do with it. However, I did purchase the third (and final) gown through Netbride.com for a much less price than I would have through a salon. The funny thing is, I initially had a large budget for my wedding gown and I have purchased THREE gown within that initial budget.

Has anyone else gone through dress drama? What did you do about it?

Sale Alert!

When I first started looking at wedding dresses online, I fell completely head-over-heels for Rosa Clara, a Spanish designer with lots of beautiful, romantic styles. In particular, I was drooling over this dress, called Languido:























{original photo source: www.rosaclara.es, 09 Collection, jpg via: http://www.duosheng.cn/shangweb/xihun/Languido.html}

So of course I was thrilled to discover that one local bridal salon carries Rosa Clara! A few friends and I headed out to Carine's Bridal in Georgetown. It turns out the Rosa Clara dresses are not for me. What looks lovely on the tall, slender model doesn't quite work on short, curvy me. Ah, well, that's why we go try on dresses!

What I did learn from the experience is that I really like Carine's! It's a very nice store with a good selection and the staff were absolutely sweet. I've been to a few bridal shops around the area and really found this one to be the most comfortable and fun. I ended up going with a preowned dress, which I'll write more about soon, but I would definitely recommend Carine's to anyone who has the budget for it.

Today, I opened up my email to see an advertisement for the Carine's Sample Sale! This Thursday, July 23 from 6 to 9. If you're still in the dress market, I highly suggest you check it out. You should call the store to RSVP - I'm sure it will be busy!

Happy bargain shopping!

Mission: Buff Bride

I've been on "Mission: Buff Bride" for a few months now. For a while, I was doing really well at getting my tush to the gym but lately? I've been slacking. (That Diet Coke addiction of mine isn't helping anything either...)

For those of you who don't know, I'm probably one of the LAZIEST marathon runners ever. I ran marathon #3, a 10k and a 10 mile race in the matter of a month - setting personal records in all three, leaving me beyond pleased. Unfortunately, I didn't train nearly as hard as I should have (I never do...) so I kind of set myself up for minor injuries. After the marathon which was Memorial Day weekend up in Vermont, I got lazy. I hurt my knee a little and well...stopped working out altogether with the exception of yoga.

So I recruited a friend. You see, I work at a gym here on Capitol Hill part time so I know many of the trainers. Yesterday, after my morning shift, I recruited a trainer pal of mine to give me some tips because "I want to look good in my wedding gown" as every girl does.

For the next two and a half months, I will be at the gym 5 days per week, either doing yoga or cardio/strength training. I've been doing yoga pretty regularly since the marathon sadly without much improvement (I fell over during a half moon pose yesterday...it was...dare I say, embarrassing)

What's my plan?
20 minutes of cardio (warmup)
3 sets of 10 pushups on a bosu ball
3 sets of 10 squats on a bosu ball
3 sets of 10 bicep curls using 10lb kettle bell (balancing on one leg)
3 sets of 10 rows (with 10lb kettle bell)
3 sets of 10 swings (with 10lb kettle bell...it's a squat type move where you thrust hips and swing a kettle bell into the air to shoulder height)
3 sets of 10 T's. Though I'm sure that's not what they're called, it's lifting my arms out into a T holding the 10lb kettle bells.

I'll be sticking to this for about 4 weeks and from there we'll modify to make it harder for the last month or so.

Not to mention, the 3 days/week I work at the gym, I teach 15 minute abs classes so that certainly won't hurt anything either!

I can tell you, we had an hour workout yesterday - my trainer pal and I - then I went to an hour long yoga class...and oh.my.god.

I'm fairly certain if I stick to this, my gown will look fab.

What did you do to get in shape for your wedding gown?

how I found my dress

While we're sort of on the topic of dresses, I'll share the story of how I found mine.

I was never against buying a used dress - in fact I was pretty sure that's the route I would go from the beginning. For one thing, in the honest words of Miss Glen Echo, I'm cheap. I could not justify spending thousands of dollars on a dress, no matter how gorgeous it was (not that you shouldn't, if you have the budget for it, I just don't). For another thing, buying a dress already used would help my mission to put on a more eco-friendly wedding. So I started hunting PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com, OnceWed.com, etc., well before we were even engaged (blush).

But these other ladies are totally right - you can't (well, shouldn't) buy a used dress online without having tried something similar on so you know it's right for you. Also - why would anyone want to bypass boutique dress shopping?? When else can you have a gaggle of ladies following you around as you basically play dress-up for hours? Actually that sounds ridiculous but man, it was so much fun. Which is why I was almost disappointed that I found my dress on my 2nd shopping excursion!

The first place I went was Ellie's, in Alexandria. I only knew about it because I was a bridesmaid recently for a friend who bought her dress there, so one day when she was going in for a fitting, she made an appointment for me to try on dresses at the same time. They have a really great selection of gorgeous dresses there, and also a ton of bridesmaid dresses (and if you buy your dress from them, your bridal party gets a discount on their dresses). I fell in love with every single dress I tried on, but especially the Jim Hjelm 8763 and the Sarah Danielle 5523 (can't seem to access the Sarah Danielle website right now so that link is to a listing that I MISSED OUT ON, gahhh that was even my size). I am still pining away for that Sarah Danielle dress honestly. But! The Jim Hjelm was $3K and the SD was $2100 ish, so I sighed and passed them up.

I had already marked my calendar for the 2 Running of the Brides events I knew of that were happening this year - one was in April, at the Rockville location, the other was the one coming up this month, at Friendship Heights. I was all excited to camp out and have a group of friends go with me - and then I found out about a sample sale at Priscilla of Boston at Tysons Corner.

dun dun DUNNNN.

I showed up with my mom, and a couple friends came by, and I tried on a few dresses without loving any of them too much. Then just as I was thinking it was about time to get some lunch, my mom suggested I take one more look through the racks, since girls were constantly bringing dresses back they'd tried on and didn't like. I found one that I thought was gorgeous and it fit me nearly perfectly! As soon as I put it on, I really liked it, but when I walked out of the dressing room and my mom burst into tears.. I knew it was the one.

Also, it was marked down from $4,200 to $199. And that day they were doing an additional 20% off. So with tax, it ended up being $167.19. Strapless, full lace overlay with a beautiful chapel length train - and we found maybe 1 small snag in the lace, not even noticeable. I'm still in awe that we found it and got that price. weee!!

So right now I'm in the market for a good wedding dress cleaning service. I'm concerned because it's all lace. Anybody know a good place in the DC area I can trust? I've heard so many horror stories of dresses ruined during the cleaning/preservation.

Are YOU a Sample Dress Bride?

Going along with Ms. Charleston’s post – I thought I’d follow up with some more things to think about when dress shopping. I agree with all of her advice – definitely have an idea of what you think you might like going in – neckline, color, material, embellishments, but try on any and everything you can get your hands on. I had a word document with dress pictures that I loved, and then stores that carried each designer. But we all know that the dress looks WAY different in a glossy magazine, with teeny tiny model showing the dress off. So my most favorite and valuable nugget of advice was to search sites that sell pre-owned wedding dresses, even if you don’t think you’ll ever buy a “used” one, so that you can see what a type of dress, or even, if you get very lucky, the exact dress you’re looking for looks like on a real girl.

Long story short, while searching for v-neck dresses (which I thought looked the best on me – Mr. OBX has a thing against strapless, and I am fidgety, plus, I seem to have a disproportionate amount armpit fat that never looks good with strapless and until they invent an exercise that targets that area, no strapless for me – though I tried lots on), I came across MY dress online at one of the resale sites. I knew I had to have it. V-neck dresses themselves are a bit more difficult to find, plus I wanted embellishments on the TOP of the dress, and this dress (the one in the center in the pic on the left) was just it.

(www.preownedweddingdresses.com)

I set about finding it in a store in DC, because I knew I had to see it in person. I called the designers headquarters in NY and found out that it had been discontinued, and that my only hope was finding a sample. So I googled and googled, and called stores across the country, to no avail. And then I called Hannalores on a whim, knowing they carry the designer, and they HAD the dress. I was jumping out of my skin, made an appointment for that same afternoon, went in, tried it on, it fit like a GLOVE, and was CLEARLY the dress (plus it was 50% off – which put it actually somewhere near my price range). Of course, I doubted it (and made things WAY more difficult than they have to be – which has become a hallmark of my wedding planning process), and didn’t buy it then and there – I spent the weekend trying on other dresses at Lady Hamilton, Rosalins, Katherine’s, Hitched, and back at Hannalores to try on “the” dress again. I didn’t hesitate this time and I bought it!

The store said they would take care of cleaning the very minimal marks on the dress, repairing some of the beadwork, etc. and would have it ready for me in June to pick up for my fittings. And then I freaked out – I bought a “used” (crinkle nose when saying this) dress for the most important day of my life, it had been in the store for a long time – what if it had changed colors (and my internet research confirmed that this could be a reality), what if the front was too low cut, what if they couldn’t MAKE it perfect, what if this WASN’T MY DRESS after all?

After a slight miscommunication, the store made good on its word, and their seamstresses/repair department made the dress perfect (even to my discerning eye). Pamela did an amazing job at easing my concerns when I was in a tizzy that “I was not meant to be a sample dress bride, I’m way too anxious” – we took the dress outside, and my fear that the dress had turned yellowish was alleviated, and she convinced me that there is no stigma to buying a sample. So, after that very lengthy post – here is my (very biased) list of things to consider before buying a sample:

• Take a deep breath and think about what a sample is – yes it is probably a great deal, but the dress you are looking at WILL BE the dress you will wear down the aisle, and other people have tried it on, and it may not be the letter of perfect. Think about whether this will cause you more worry, stress, and anxiety than the great deal is worth.
• Get unbiased advice on the alterations (and what is possible for your specific dress) before you buy!
• Really examine the dress for wear and tear – be picky and be pushy. In addition to the things you can see, consider the traffic/business of the store, and how long the dress has been in the store. Go over the dress with a fine tooth comb with alterations staff (not salespeople) when its hanging on the hanger in a well lit area (dresses CAN turn yellow after a long time under fluorescent lights, in plastic bags – and there is very little that can done about this).
• Discuss every imperfection and whether it can realistically be fixed. Of the things that can be fixed, negotiate with the store what you expect to be fixed, how you want it fixed, and when it will be done by. Make sure the seamstress is present for this discussion. Get this in writing. Take pictures (if you can) of all marks or changes. Of the things that cannot be fixed, ask for more discounts (but really consider if you are okay with having the mark, or rip, or whatever).
• Do your research and figure out what the dress sells for new, and how old the dress is (what year the designer first offered it). Be able confidently negotiate based on how old it is, the retail price, and the condition of the actual dress. Realize that you are helping the store recoup their costs on the dress, that you are NOT a second class shopper because you are looking at samples, and that you deserve the same level of service as everyone else – they need you more than you need them.
• Be prepared for a no-return policy and don’t let anyone pressure you into buying the dress until you are certain that it is the dress for you. It is likely that the dress will still be there tomorrow or next week. As soon as the dress leaves the store, it will be YOURS, so don’t take it until you are satisfied with how it looks.

Taffeta and Tulle

I thought about this post because I ran into a friend of mine over the weekend who is recently engaged and was off to go dress shopping.

For someone who is off to go dress shopping for the first time, it is a terribly fun and anxious experience. Let's face it, you're trying on wedding dresses. No matter how unconventional or un-girly one claims to be, there is something just so fantastic about trying on that first gown. My own dress shopping experience was LONG. I literally couldn't wait to get to shopping the second I got back from our vacation. Now, word to you ladies about to venture out: shop shop shop. I think one of the best things I did was shop around and try on every single style there is out there for brides. So here are some places and tips from me to you on dress shopping.

1) Know what you want. It's overwhelming when you walk into a bridal boutique and see every color, shape, and style imaginable. Some people find "the one" the second they try it on, while others like me needed a little more time to really find it. So search those websites and magazines and have an idea of what you want, but be open-minded. There are certain styles that are recommended for certain body types but trust me--you want to try on everything.

2) Shop around (if you can and want to and have the time!). It's easier said than done, but sometimes you don't know what you're looking for until you've seen every possible option. This may also save you the trouble of realizing that your spontaneous wedding gown purchase is not making you as happy as you were when you were high on wedding dress fumes when you go in for your first fitting! I went to Hannelores, Hitched (where I swear I found my dream dress), I Do, I Do (where I thought I really found my dream dress), Carine's, David's Bridal, and a few online peeks. Thefrock.com is a vintage/couture dress haven for someone who is looking for vintage Oscar, Dior, and Givenchy to name a few. I thought this dress was adorable:

Vintage Lanvin

By the time I was done I knew that although I'm petite, I loved the ballgown look even though every style guide advised me otherwise. I also knew that I at first shunned strapless but loved every single strapless dress I tried on. I was also going to get a white gown, but a light gold/ivory gown made me look amazing.

3) Bring good friends (but not too many). Bring the ones that will be honest with you. Also, remember that while they are welcome to their opinion, YOU are the one who has to wear it so ultimately, go with you gut, not your gals.

4) Wear clean undies, a strapless bra, and patience. You may be in the store for five minutes or an hour. Some places may also limit the number of dresses you try on.

Those are just some of the things that I know were helpful for me to keep in mind when I went dress shopping. And to be honest, there were times when I went by myself because with too many people and too many opinions it was easy to get lost in the mix. I finally found "the dress," in the most unusual places: The Running of the Brides at Filene's in Mazza Gallerie. My bridesmaids and I went last summer just for fun because I saw a TV special about it and I had tried on so many dresses that I thought it would be fun and worth seeking out a designer gown at heavily marked down prices. The dress was an ivory ball gown, a fraction of the dress I almost bought the week before, and after a few alterations, it is now the perfect dress:

new neckline with the pockets I had put in

Bustle!

Top model pose.

I hope to get the dress 100% done and perfect in the next few weeks.

So good luck as you venture out and look for your perfect gown. For you ladies who found yours, what advice do you have?

p.s. ladies, The Running of the Brides is on July 31, 2009 at Mazza Gallerie. Camp out for the adventure, but there are less people and plenty of dresses left in the afternoon. I'm adventurous so I went, complete with t-shirts and team!

Nicole Miller Bridal on Rue La La

FYI, everyone, there is a Nicole Miller Bridal Boutique opening on Rue La La on Monday, March 30 at 11am! If you've dreamed of bring a Nicole Miller bride and want to get a deal, you need to be there!

What's Rue La La? It's an invitation only website that offers online sample sales. "Boutiques" of particular designers and brands open for 2-3 days, allowing shoppers to score AMAZING deals.
Some current and upcoming boutiques include Badgley Mischka, Nicole Miller Dress, and Eva Franco. Past sales include Honora, Lilly Puliltzer, and Kate Spade. Rue La La also has one of their famous "Final Sale" boutiques opening tomorrow morning at 11am! Once or twice a year RLL clears out all the unsold and/or returned items. They are promising more than 30 designers to be included in this sale, so it's sure to be a good one!

Just e-mail me at fairfaxmiss@gmail.com by Sunday at 5pm and I'll send you an invitation to join the site in time for the Nicole Miller sale!

Bare Necessities

So tonight after a lovely dinner with the Future In Laws, we were going over the guidelines from the church that we recently received. The church recently redid them so they've changed a little since we got engaged last June.

The Future MIL finally noticed, as she's seen my dress, a little stipulation in the Church's guidelines...

"In keeping with the nature of the Sacrament of Marriage, all members of the wedding party must be dresses appropriately for church.
In particular, this means no strapless dresses or bare shoulders/"spaghetti straps" for the bride or any member of the wedding party, unless a jacket or sweater is worn over them."

Freaders, this is a problem.

My dress. Is strapless.

And freaders? I love my Church, I respect God and all that schtuff and for Mass? I would never wear a tube top or something like that. But freaders? THIS? Is my wedding gown. All paid for in it's beautiful strapless glory. And I'm going to be stubborn because that dress? Would not look nearly as lovely with a shawl or a sweater. No. Way.

Unfortunately, I am going to have to purchase shawls or pashmina's for my gals, thankfully it'll only be for the ceremony. But still...I just hope and pray (har har) that our priest doesn't say "oh no sorry. You'll have to wear a shawl...blah blah blah. I won't marry you blah blah blah."

Because you know, this is definitely something that could have been brought to my attention back in like...June when we signed up. Because this? I would have noticed. In the guidelines we only briefly got to skim over and didn't receive a copy of until a week ago. Oh bless you Church, for You and I, might have some issues in the coming months.

But contrary to my father's suggestion, it is FAR too late to be changing anything else major in the wedding like the location (another post for another time).

Have you had any issues with your religious ceremony? Are you having a religious ceremony that has similar guidelines? How did you comply/rebel?

Now I Need Your Help

from Elizabeth Anne Designs

My last post reminded me of a question I've been meaning to ask here. I read along time ago on a "photo tips for your wedding day" type article, I'll try to dig it up, that you should get a nice hanger for your dress for those pretty getting ready shots. Where on earth do you find pretty hangers? My dress is on a big ol' plastic hanger right now, so I'd at least like to get a nice wooden one. It would suit our whole look and I could tie a pretty ribbon around it. I've looked at Target and then I gave up...anyone have ideas or suggestions?

Measurements

So, as you know, wedding dress sizes vary from "normal" sizes, and are based on all sorts of measurements that I had never heard of. Here is a great little guide I found on a random site.


Source: http://bestbridalprices.com

The HOLLOW to HEM measurement was always a term that confused me, and is also excessively important, given that I'm a tall bride. It'll also help you guys out, in determining how long your dress should be.

HOLLOW TO HEM is a standard industry term. Start the tape at the hollow at the base of your neck and measure down to where you want the hem. If your skirt will be full, be sure to measure out at an angle to allow for the fullness. Also, be sure you?re wearing the same height heel you'll wear on your wedding day.