Being a Bridezilla
Father of the Bride (Part II):
My future husband and I met with my folks for dinner yesterday and I have to admit, my parents never cease to surprise me. We hardly see each other and when we do we have a lot to discuss, especially in terms of the wedding. My dad starts us off by asking, "Are you still thinking November?"
O - M - G!
"Dad," I said, "It's October!"
Then my stepmom proceeds to ask questions like, "Well why isn't the food included in the cost of the venue? Wait, how much is this place? Why Ocotber? You can't have a year engagement because that's what the internet says to do, you have to do what's right for you! Is the deposit refundable?"
O - M - G!
I was astonished wondering where all these questions came from. Where was all this input 3 months ago when we were looking at venues -- when we asked them if they had someplace in mind. We called them when we found Oxon HIll Manor, I cried, and shared about how much we loved the place. I even spoke with them when we submitted our deposit. I have to wonder, where they even listening?
I was patient in reiterating our decisions and the lack thereof. I was polite and I was attentive. I was very open to catching them up to speed, but when my Dad looked at me and said, "Oxon Hill isn't very convenient is it?" I broke.
I had no choice but to look my Dad in the eyes, without blinking, flinching or hestitating and say, "I LOVE IT! PERIOD!" Thankfully, my groom's been watching Bridezilla with me and he got a little groomzilla with my folks by saying, "Oxon Hill Manor is the ONE decision we HAVE made!"
Exception to the Rule:
Driving home from dinner we shared about all the comments my parents made that threw us for a loop. How could she ask us if the deposit was refundable? What was my Dad thinking when he asked me, "How much do you expect us to commit to this?" Or when my stepmom said, "We saved for this, but we thought it would happen in 10 years, not now!"
The audacity! Am I nuts? Don't people get married in their twenties?
The upside to all of this is that Aaron and I had eachother. We had each other to pick up the shattered pieces of our perfect dinner of easy and fun converstaions about the wedding and move on. We both shared about what we got out of the talk (or didn't get), assured each other we're not crazy, and agreed it's obviously going to take them awhile to come around. In the meantime, we're just going to have to beef up our bridezilla attitudes and state what we want and what we need. Honestly people, if we waited for them to intiate the talks or make the decisions, we'd be waiting forever.
Be a Bridezilla! It's the Only Way to Get Your Way:
So in the end, I'm left feeling like all those WEtv Bridezillas might have known a little something I didn't... They may not have been so bad after all. They may have been acting out of sheer survival. I can't help but think back to the words of WEtv's most insane (no offense) Bridezilla (the Staten Island bride who aired for 3 straight shows), "If you want it -- it doesn't matter if you have to yell it at the top of your lungs to get it! This is your day and what you want, you should have! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
In the words of a people pleaser (me), "Tell them what you want, even if it's the hardest thing you'll ever do!"