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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Being a Bridezilla


Is not always a bad thing...

We've all seen them, heard them, or called them out... Bridezillas! If you're anything like me, you watch this show feeling a bit horrified that your big day could turn out so disasterous or that you'd be under so much stress that you, yourself would be a disaster! You look at the way these brides talk to their friends, their mother-in-laws, and (I know you do it) you gasp and think, "I would never!" I've said it before too, but more recently I've found that it's not always a bad thing to be a bridezilla.

Father of the Bride (Part II):

My future husband and I met with my folks for dinner yesterday and I have to admit, my parents never cease to surprise me. We hardly see each other and when we do we have a lot to discuss, especially in terms of the wedding. My dad starts us off by asking, "Are you still thinking November?"

O - M - G!

"Dad," I said, "It's October!"

Then my stepmom proceeds to ask questions like, "Well why isn't the food included in the cost of the venue? Wait, how much is this place? Why Ocotber? You can't have a year engagement because that's what the internet says to do, you have to do what's right for you! Is the deposit refundable?"

O - M - G!

I was astonished wondering where all these questions came from. Where was all this input 3 months ago when we were looking at venues -- when we asked them if they had someplace in mind. We called them when we found Oxon HIll Manor, I cried, and shared about how much we loved the place. I even spoke with them when we submitted our deposit. I have to wonder, where they even listening?


{Photo credit: Reel Film}

I was patient in reiterating our decisions and the lack thereof. I was polite and I was attentive. I was very open to catching them up to speed, but when my Dad looked at me and said, "Oxon Hill isn't very convenient is it?" I broke.

I had no choice but to look my Dad in the eyes, without blinking, flinching or hestitating and say, "I LOVE IT! PERIOD!" Thankfully, my groom's been watching Bridezilla with me and he got a little groomzilla with my folks by saying, "Oxon Hill Manor is the ONE decision we HAVE made!"

Exception to the Rule:

Driving home from dinner we shared about all the comments my parents made that threw us for a loop. How could she ask us if the deposit was refundable? What was my Dad thinking when he asked me, "How much do you expect us to commit to this?" Or when my stepmom said, "We saved for this, but we thought it would happen in 10 years, not now!"

The audacity! Am I nuts? Don't people get married in their twenties?

The upside to all of this is that Aaron and I had eachother. We had each other to pick up the shattered pieces of our perfect dinner of easy and fun converstaions about the wedding and move on. We both shared about what we got out of the talk (or didn't get), assured each other we're not crazy, and agreed it's obviously going to take them awhile to come around. In the meantime, we're just going to have to beef up our bridezilla attitudes and state what we want and what we need.  Honestly people, if we waited for them to intiate the talks or make the decisions, we'd be waiting forever.

Be a Bridezilla! It's the Only Way to Get Your Way:

So in the end, I'm left feeling like all those WEtv Bridezillas might have known a little something I didn't... They may not have been so bad after all. They may have been acting out of sheer survival. I can't help but think back to the words of WEtv's most insane (no offense) Bridezilla (the Staten Island bride who aired for 3 straight shows), "If you want it -- it doesn't matter if you have to yell it at the top of your lungs to get it! This is your day and what you want, you should have! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."


{First photo and directly above credit : WEtv}

In the words of a people pleaser (me), "Tell them what you want, even if it's the hardest thing you'll ever do!"

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2 Comments:

Blogger Phillydizzi Bride to Be said...

you are preaching to the choir. I went through the same exact scenario with parents except I wasn't bridezilla enough. They got their way and we moved our venue four months before the wedding. I learned my lesson, its Bridezilla all the way now! good luck!

Friday, January 22, 2010 9:49:00 AM  
Blogger Christina said...

It sucks to not have your family totally on board, and I will definitely admit that they seemed to act way out of line in this. However, this day isn't all about the bride. And it's not just about the bride and the groom either. It's about everyone you are inviting. Yes, ultimately you don't want to please everyone because you'll never get anywhere. But to think that you can make decisions without regards to anyone else's feelings or preferences is selfish and will not set you up for having a support system for your marriage. Because it's really about a marriage, not a wedding, right?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010 8:29:00 AM  

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