They're Just Not That Into You
You know what is so funny about wedding planning? It seems like every day I am faced with something I never thought I would have to deal with. That’s not always bad; it’s just that before I was actually engaged, all I really thought about was the fun fluffy stuff — dresses, rings, flowers, etc. I didn’t focus on things like logistics or what flowers were in season.
One thing I never expected to deal with were unresponsive vendors. To my unpracticed wedding-planning mind it seemed illogical that I would ever run into a vendor that literally did not communicate at all.
I mean, they WANT my business… right? Well, apparently this is not always true. I think the craziest instance of this was when I was interviewing florists.
A friend of mine got married last year, and I was very lucky to be in her wedding. She told me how her florist was great, reasonably priced, and passed on her information to me. So I emailed the florist, and she was very enthused, and when we finally met when she dropped off the flowers for my friend’s wedding, it was like the best version of the “putting a face to a name” conversation. Not only that, the bridal bouquet was gorgeous and our bridesmaids bouquets were amazing and perfectly complimentary. I was impressed! It ended with me saying, “Well, this is my friend’s day, so let’s talk next week!” She said that was great, and we agreed to chat later.
Next week came. She asked me to list my ideas and inspirations. She was seemingly jazzed about everything and said that she was going to take my lists and come back to me with some ideas by the weekend.
The weekend came… and went. And I didn’t want to be cranky. I mean, life happens, and I knew I was more anxious just to see some ideas, and not really upset at her for not getting back to me by her proposed timeline. Also, I did not want to be that bride.
I decided to let a few more days pass. A few days turned into a week because I was in the throes of writing a term paper for class! After it dawned on me that it had been over a week and a half since I was supposed to have heard from her. I dropped her a friendly line, and she replied. She was so sorry, and she would absolutely have something to me within the next three days.
And that was the last time I heard from her. Ever.
I emailed her a few times. Very friendly emails, without the slightest hint of an accusatory tone. Just shooting up a few flares saying, hey, how’s it going? Looking forward to hearing from you. Still nothing. Eventually it was just too much, and I had to write the diplomatic, “It’s not me, it’s you” email.
Even that went with no response.
Honestly, I was a bit sad because, at first, we really seemed to click. Did I do something wrong? Had I eaten too much garlic and scared her off? I didn’t think I was being unreasonable, and I started to wonder if my artichoke request was a bit too much.
It felt a bit like getting dumped, and that’s such a weird feeling when you’re planning a wedding! I remember talking to the same friend who got married. She told me how, when she was planning, she could not get a venue to respond to her. She likened getting a response from them to pulling teeth. Eventually she and her fiance opted to go elsewhere.
Have you felt at all this way during wedding planning? Has there been an unexpected disappointment with vendors? What do you do when they’re just not that into you?