Sunday, July 15, 2007

Wedding band delemna

Up until now I've tried not to be swayed by wedding "must dos," and wedding "must haves," but when it comes to our wedding bands I have to admit that I've been pondering band etiquette a little more than my pratical mind would like. Case in point. I would like a stand alone wedding band.
Meaning a band that I can wear on its own that has some presence given I'm a 5'9'' female with long fingers. I have taken to styles such as:
My fiance is less than enthusiastic. He states emphatically that our bands must be solid round orbs of gold (our element of choice), and can have no open spaces (which in his mind symbolize some sort of fissure in our impending marriage.) I, on the other hand, believe no such thing, and only see a really really cool ring that I'll be happy to rock every day.
Fast forward to wedding planning meeting #27 at this mother's house where somehow the subject of wedding bands and our lack thereof came up. Not only was my fissure filled style shot down, but most aunties were in agreement that we were to have matching bands! Matching bands! We haven't even considered the possibility. I left that planning meeting, a little unsure about my banding (heh heh) desire to go for the cool over the traditional.
I have to admit I feel a strange sense of pause on just eschewing this whole his and hers, no holes, solid union idea. The superstitious and symbolic part of me feels like perhaps we aren't putting forth a solid display of marital unity, but rather complete independence. What does it all mean? What does my fissure ring say about my ability to become part of a unit?
But then the rational, more rebellious side of me says, "who cares, does this really all matter." "Get a hold of yourself, and let the wedding brain go!"
And ultimately, I think no, this does not really all matter. We matter, the manner in which we make decisions together, and the things we decide to do as a couple, not whether our bands match. The insanity subsides....
We'll stick with our original ignorance. If we didn't know we needed to be matchy matchy before, why change things now.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the ring that you like. Having openings in the ring doesn't matter it's the circle itself that symbolizes end to your relationship. I have an antique style wedding band in platinum and my husband's band does not "match" that. It is white and yellow gold because that is the style he likes. It does have a tiny bit of an antique feel to it but that wasn't a big deal. Just let your hubbie (and family) know that the ring is going to be something that you are (hopefully) going to be wearing for the rest of your life so ultimately it needs to be something you love.

Monday, December 08, 2008 11:10:00 PM  

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