Sunday, January 25, 2009

Recession Obsession

(photo credit daviddmuir)

I confess I've been away from DC Nearlyweds for quite a long time.  I'm really sorry about that.  I'm not dead, I promise.

It's just for a long time I didn't think this wedding was going to happen, because of the recession.

People who were formerly excited about your wedding are now demurring, saying "I don't know, I'll do my best, we'll see..." and how can I blame them?  Money is tight and people are afraid to spend.  What should have been an occasion of joy is now a financial burden.  I don't want to do that to people.  I almost feel guilty for inviting them to my wedding.  So because of this, I was pretty close to cancelling the whole thing.

Then my family received a huge financial setback, meaning that paying for the wedding that I was so excited about would no longer be possible.  And everyone felt guilty and sad about that. 

It seemed to me that it would have been better to just run away from it all.  I don't mean eloping.  I mean just closing my eyes and wishing everything would go away--the recession, the budgets, the planning, everything.  I just stopped thinking about weddings.  My vendors would send me contracts and ask questions and I wouldn't want to answer.  I just couldn't stop thinking of the massive unfairness of it all.  Maybe that's a bit Bridezilla of me, but I was so looking forward to spending this special time with the people I love best and it was slowly slipping away.

Finally my fiance and I sat down and really thought about what we were going to do.  We quietly asked the people who had received their save the dates and were committed to attending.  And their response was universal: "We love you, and we will do whatever it is you want to do."  If we had wanted to cancel, they would have understood.  If we wanted to have the wedding, they would have been there with bells on.  

So we've decided to still have the wedding.  We'll scale back on certain things, and the budget won't have much room to maneuver, but the love and support our families and friends showed us made us want to continue.  We will celebrate this union, recession be damned.  We'll put money back in the local economy. We're going to show confidence in the face of fear.  YEAH!

How has anyone else been affected by the recession?  Has anyone put wedding plans on hold?  


Blogger AmyJean {Relentless Bride®} said...

Since i have an uber long engagement, i've been able to just tell people when they excitedly claim "i can't wait, i'm totally gonna be there!" to really make sure they can afford it, b/c we don't want to add any extra pressure and we understand with the economy the way it is... obviously in a non presumptious way, so as not to offend. We're still more than a year out, so i think that helps... so it hasn't been too hard yet.

The most important thing... your family and friends who can make it, will make it, and your day will be special regardless of the budget cut backs or smaller crowd. I think it sounds glorious to be able to have an intimate wedding! :)

Good luck!

Sunday, January 25, 2009 10:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

we've gone through the exact same thing, except we're about a step behind and haven't committed to the date or location yet. and i feel all brizilla-esque too when i get upset about it but i think that's okay. at least i hope it is.
i just keep wishing we could go back in time. everyone else we know got a wedding in an economic climate where others weren't dreading it... why not us??

Sunday, January 25, 2009 10:28:00 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

It's great that you are understanding of your guests who can't make it. With so many people facing job losses and instability, dropping hundreds of dollars for travel and wedding gifts just isn’t feasible for everyone. Know that you are not alone and that there are so many brides out there feeling bummed because people are turning down invitations. Some brides really take it personally. Take the glass half full approach, and realize that the wedding guests who do show up are the ones that are supposed to be there. At http://www.intimateweddings.com I talk quite a bit about guest lists.

Monday, January 26, 2009 4:44:00 PM  
Blogger The Sexist said...

Hey, Ms. Charlottesville. I cover sex, dating and women's issues for the Washington City Paper, and am working on a story about how local weddings are changing due to the recession. Would love to get your thoughts on it --- email me at ahess@washcp.com if you're interested.
Thanks much,

Monday, January 26, 2009 4:57:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I was also getting worried about sticking to my budgets, its been really hard, but some of my vendors like photographer have been understanding of us when we asked to go with the less expensive package. I also found my bridesmaid gifts for a lot less at Americanbridal.com - they're having a clearance sale so the money I saved their I can use somewhere else. Don't be afraid to talk to you vendors, being honest and straight forward is the best way to deal with this economic situation and really it couldn't be a better time to ask, since people really do understand that its pretty tough out there right now.

Sunday, February 01, 2009 4:10:00 AM  

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